She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it).

- Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Anything Goes With Vampires

I couldn't stop thinking about this today, so I decided to write it all down here. On the way back from Church, Sarah and I realized we were missing a prime opportunity for stardom and fortune by not seeing the full potential of the recent Vampire-mania.

Anything Goes With Vampires (because they go with anything, apparently). Here are some snippets from the show:

In Night, Not Day, the Vampire lead serenades the lovely young ingenue with this heart-felt ballad:

Night, not Day!
Under the bite of me.
There's an Oh! such a hungry yearning,
Burning inside of me!
And this torment won't be through
Til you let me spend your life draining blood from you!
Not Day, but Night!
Night, not Day!

The world-weary Vampiress, Reno, sings of her attraction for the young (not yet turned vampire), Billy, in I Get A Kick Out of You:

My story is much too sad to be told,
But practically everything leaves me totally cold.
The only exception I know is the case,
When I'm out on a quiet (hunting) spree,
Fighting vainly the old ennui (and village priests),
And I suddenly turn and're fabulous neck.

I get no kick from my victims' pain,
To kill or maul doesn't thrill me at all.
So tell me, why should it be true?
That I get a kick out of you?

It's genius. Clearly. Sarah and I will be millionaires in no time.

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