I watched 500 Days of Summer with Ansley yesterday. I liked the movie, but I had had a sneaking suspicion that I would.
Not to spoil it for those of you who haven't seen it, but the two young people do not end up together in the end, which was wonderfully refreshing. I don't really dislike it when people do end up together (which seems to be the majority of the time) but it does make me feel very desperately uneasy when they do. I feel like I have just watched something pretty but unreal, and it's a feeling similar to when you know you have a test coming up but you decide to read a book instead. It's nice to read the book, but after you're through you just feel panicked because it wasn't what you needed to read to prepare you for the coming ordeal.
Something like that. Anyway, it's hard to communicate these days. At least, it is for me. I liked the movie. I was glad that it went the way it did, and above all else it was very funny. Summer's motivation was often difficult to guess, but she made a lot of sense. Mostly I just felt sorry for the boy, and I wished again that I had been able to be that easy around another person. I talked about this with Ansley last night - it's that triangle thing.
I was not completely right about the Romantics. Their sense of "Romantic Irony" was something I left out, and something I really like. Apparently romantic irony is the sense that one wants to make sense of the world, but ultimately one knows that everything will resort to chaos. But one has to keep trying. (Where did one jump in from, all of a sudden?) Entropy. I like that because I feel things are that way to a certain extent. But I wish I could express myself with greater clarity.
It was a long day. At the end of it, I felt like hiding in my room and never speaking to anyone again. This was partly due to hormones, I think, but also partly due to just feeling sad. And being around people too often in two days. Byron expressed the idea that when in solitude we are least alone. I like to be alone to recharge, but I still wish I didn't feel that I constantly miscommunicate with other people. That's the wrong kind of solitude. But it's also life, I guess.